


Nobody on the Road

by Highlander_II



Category: The Thorn Birds (1983), Van Helsing (2004)
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Memories, Rare Pairings, Recovered Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 15:42:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19890277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Highlander_II/pseuds/Highlander_II
Summary: Van Helsing is starting to remember things from his very long past - things from the memories that were taken from him as his punishment.Father Ralph fromThe Thorn Birdsmakes an appearance for some parallels and because he's younger than Carl during the timeline of this, which is about forty years post-movie.





	Nobody on the Road

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raktajinos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raktajinos/gifts).



"Gabriel," the friendly Cardinal greeted him as he approached. "If you don't mind my saying, you look a bit perplexed."

Normally he would give a general, polite, response and move on. Today though, he had too much on his mind. Cardinal de Bricassart had always been kind and willing to lend a judgment-free ear, so Van Helsing was going to take advantage of that again. Maybe a bit more fully than usual.

"A bit," he responded. "Do you mind if we sit?" He motioned to a nearby garden bench.

"Of course," the Cardinal moved to take a seat beside Van Helsing.

Silence sat between them a moment. Then Van Helsing said, "I've been remembering things."

Cardinal de Bricassart nodded. "What kind of things?"

"Old things. I believe they're part of the memories that were taken from me."

"Your punishment?"

"Yes." He tucked his hands into the pockets of his coat to ward off the chill. "Dark. Sometimes violent. Sometimes…" He looked away.

"Sexual?"

Van Helsing nodded. He closed his eyes as part of one of those memories surfaced. It sent a shiver down his spine while also making his muscles warm.

  


* * *

  


"Gabriel -" Dracula cooed at him from across the room. Only, he wasn't Dracula then. He was someone else. He went by another name Van Helsing couldn't recall.

"Gabriel -" Dracula repeated. "Why do you torment me so with your beautiful body?" He stepped closer. "And why do you insist on being clothed so frequently? Really. It's not necessary." Closer still.

Van Helsing could feel his heart rate increasing. Something had excited him. Not anger. Not fear. Something else. Desire. Heat. Passion.

Wherever he was, he wanted Dracula closer to him. Touching him. More. Much more.

But why? Why would he want that? What sort of power did Dracula have over him?

"Are you not speaking to me now either?" Dracula asked. He stopped walking and looked at him. "Gabriel, I know you love me -"

  


* * *

  


"Are you all right, Gabriel?" Cardinal de Bricassart asked.

Van Helsing closed his eyes and gave his head a brief shake. "Fine. Memories."

Cardinal de Bricassart seemed concerned. "Something painful for you to remember?"

"Confusing."

"Would you like to share?"

"No. I don't think so. There isn't much there yet."

"Is there something you need help understanding?"

  


* * *

  


"Gabriel…" Dracula approached him again. Now he was close enough to touch Van Helsing. "I want to touch you." He was so close Van Helsing could feel his breath on his face. "And I think you want it too."

Van Helsing felt a ripple of heat roll through his body. Even if he thought he didn't want it, his body definitely did. He wanted to be touched. Kissed. Held. Taken.

The part he couldn't understand was why Dracula? Or rather, the man who would become Dracula.

Then Dracula was kissing him. Long and warm and needy. Van Helsing felt himself responding to it. Wanting it. Kissing him back.

  


* * *

  


Van Helsing startled at the feeling of a hand on his arm and nearly leapt from the bench.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel," Cardinal de Bricassart apologized. "You were a bit distant there for a moment."

Van Helsing took a couple deep breaths. "No. It's all right. I just – I don't understand why -"

"Why what?"

A brief glance to the Cardinal, then away. "Why there are feelings for -" He couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"For someone you're not supposed to love?" Cardinal de Bricassart asked. His voice seemed sad, as though he fully understood Van Helsing's dilemma.

Brow furrowed slightly, Van Helsing looked at the Cardinal again. "Yes."

"And you know you shouldn't, but you can't help yourself, no matter what you do?"

Van Helsing nodded. He was fairly certain the Cardinal had something similar in his own life. Van Helsing wouldn't pry. He knew Cardinal de Bricassart would extend him the same courtesy.

"So what do I do?" Van Helsing asked.

Cardinal de Bricassart smiled sadly. "I don't have all the answers, my son. But you can embrace the memories for what they are, take them as they come, and keep them, or let them drift away." He turned slightly to more fully face Van Helsing. "But, memories are precious. Maybe more so to you than to most. So you may wish to hold them close even if they're unpleasant. For the lessons they will teach you."

That was a lot. It was guidance and counsel, but it was a lot. Van Helsing nodded. "Thank you, Your Eminence."

"Of course, Gabriel. And, please, call me Ralph." He rose from the bench and placed a hand on Van Helsing's shoulder. "I must get out of the cold, but be well, my son. And you can come see me whenever you need."

Van Helsing nodded to him again and watched as the red robes disappeared from his view.

  


* * *

  


"Gabriel," Dracula purred against his lips, "you still torment me by wearing so many clothes. You should get out of them. Let me see you."

He didn't know why, but rather than speak, he kissed Dracula again. He could only remember pieces. And even then, he could see Dracula, but nothing of himself. He couldn't remember what he was wearing or what his hair looked like. He had no idea what year it was or where they were.

All he could see was Dracula approaching him and kissing him. Then he could feel himself kissing Dracula back. And he could feel his body's reactions. But that's where the memories stopped. The rest was blocked.

Except that sliver of emotion he recognized as affection. Love.

He didn't know why it was there. And pushing to remember more didn't get him very far.

  


* * *

  


"Afternoon, Gabriel," Carl said as he shuffled over to the bench where Van Helsing was sitting.

Van Helsing looked up at him. "Hello, Carl."

"May I sit?"

"Of course." He rose to help Carl settle beside him on the bench. He'd watched Carl age over the last forty or so years. It had seemed gradual as it happened, but looking at him now, Van Helsing could see more of the age in his face. A few wrinkles around the eyes, though they still held a bit of the old sparkle he recognized.

Despite his advancing years, Carl still did what he could to help keep Van Helsing alive and fighting evil. And Van Helsing was eternally grateful for all of it.

Carl leaned back on the bench, hands in his lap, and tipped his head toward the overcast sky. "I hear you've been remembering."

Van Helsing gave an affirming nod. "I have."

Carl grinned. "Don't stop on my account." He patted Van Helsing's arm. "It's okay. I know what Cardinal de Bricassart doesn't and what you're not saying. Dracula."

Van Helsing's muscles stiffened beneath Carl's hand.

Carl turned to face his friend. "How long have I known you, Gabriel?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I know. I was there for the fight. I know what you had to do. I know what he meant to you all those years ago."

"How do you know that when even I don't?"

"Because I know you." He squeezed Van Helsing's arm. "You loved him. The man he was before he became Dracula. It's allowed. It's okay. You love who you love, Gabriel. And there's nothing wrong with that."

"Thank you, Carl."


End file.
